Turkey Randomness - Beatrice the Biologist

Turkeys are native to North America and were first domesticated by the Mayans. They are pretty awkward looking, and they have stuff dangling from their faces.

They also just generally look strange.

But this is the domesticated, hyper-farmed turkey. This sort of turkey has only been around since the 1940s, when it was selectively bred for white feathers, big breasts (if you giggled, you’re immature but awesome), and extra awkwardness. The real/wild turkey looks much more robust and is notably un-weird.

It actually looks rather majestic, if not a little pompous. I suppose that’s why Benny Franklin wanted it to be the national bird, instead of the bald eagle.

If he had succeeded, we wouldn’t see stuff like this:

We’d have this:

Thanksgiving became an official holiday in 1863 (thanks, Abe!), but turkey didn’t become the cornerstone of the Thanksgiving meal until the 1940s when the National Turkey Foundation started a tradition of presenting the sitting president with one each year. Future presidents would pardon turkeys and send them to Disneyland, where turkey legs are served at kiosks. It really makes no sense to me.

This year, President Obama pardoned two turkeys named Apple and Cider. Did Gwyneth Paltrow name these turkeys, or something? I mean, seriously. Apple and Cider? What are you trying to prove, turkey-namer-person?

These turkeys are going to live out their turkey days at Mt. Vernon, instead of Disneyland. With hipster names like Apple and Cider, they probably think they’re too cool for Disneyland anyway. Whatever, you arrogant, post-modern turkeys. I don’t care.

If you want to feel presidential and awesome, you can pardon a turkey too by donating $30 or so to the Adopt a Turkey Project: http://www.adoptaturkey.org/

Happy Thanksgiving!